Grow some girl-balls and come out already
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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