Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
