If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize