my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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