just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
