Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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