she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
