He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize