can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That accounts for only three of the penises
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
