Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
