I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
