omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
