that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
