i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
