i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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