my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize