he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
