Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
