So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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