i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
