how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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