My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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