dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
