Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
