Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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