Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
