Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
