It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
