just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize