guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
