Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
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She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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