Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
