oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize