I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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