I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He shit in the fireplace
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
