that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
