Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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