i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
