1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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