I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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