It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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