I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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