I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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