The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
