I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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