i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
