went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
