I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
