Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
