so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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