I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
