the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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