Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
