You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
