You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
