Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
