the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
