I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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