I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize