i don't like sucking hair
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
