I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
