he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
