Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize