can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
