Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
