we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
