I'm really into asian looking animals
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
