i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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