I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
