dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
